I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
