so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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