It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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