yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
