ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
