Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
