Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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