you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
