I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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