don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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