Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
