Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
