At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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