did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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