It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
