Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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