Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
