You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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