Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
