I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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