Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
