I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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