I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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