Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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