I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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