she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
