oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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