Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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