She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
