I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
