I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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