That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
