Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
