he wants to bone in the snuggie
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
