she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize