I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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