I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize