but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
