Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
