so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
