A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
