I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
