I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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