the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
