Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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