I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
