His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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