brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
