genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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