I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
