I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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