You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize