I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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