I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize