party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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