That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
