Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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