the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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