I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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