everyone is single if you try hard enough
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
